Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Second Time Around

Parenting the second time around is a little bit different. Yes, there's still the lack of sleep, the mountain of diapers, the spit up, the crying, and the love... but there's also so much more of the "whatever works" kind of attitude.

When Lili was born, I read and took all the advice about breastfeeding and took a stance firmly against pacifiers. Supposedly they only confuse babies. And no bottle feeding until 6 weeks old, that the bottle must come from daddy so as also not to confuse the baby. I took no advice from actual real life mothers who told me: Nah, give 'em a bottle from day one! That way they can never refuse it! What's wrong with pacifiers? Ton's of kids use 'em!

Lucky for us, Lili found her thumb and is now a bonafide thumbsucker. It's been a saving grace. She never loses it (except when it got cut that one time), and she can always decide when she wants it. We have yet to get to that stage where we need to wean her from it, so I have no comment there.

You've all read that Mira's a screamer. She gets very upset very quickly. She also sometimes wants comfort in the form of sucking but doesn't want any milk. How do I know this? Because I try to nurse her and she cries and comes off. And from me, there's no way to get no milk. There's a lot of milk there. So, in a fit of desperation yesterday, I shoved the dreaded pacifier into her mouth. And guess what? She liked it. And guess what else? She doesn't get confused between it and me. And lastly? It helps put her to sleep. In five minutes. As opposed to pacing around the house with her for 30 minutes or more to get her to sleep and then praying she doesn't wake up when you put her in her bed. It's amazing. It's a life saver. And I'm afraid I will become too dependent on it. Not her. Me! Where's the fine line? How and where and should I control the useage of it, or should I just say... Hey! It makes her happy, just use it! Thoughts? Suggestions? Experience? Pass it on to me, please!

she's even cute with the controversial orange thing in her mouth

Oh, and as for the bottle thing... She's had one from Keith (because I wasn't home!) and one from me, and it's working out great. Next time I need expert advice? I think I'll talk to someone who doesn't call themselves an "expert"...


Sue said...

Mira will probably not take her pacifier to college. Her father didn't but needed it when he was a baby. He was never weaned. He gave it up when he didn't want it any more.

Scott S said...

We wish AX took a pacifier more easily... and she too sometimes wants to suck but doesn't want milk. BUT... it's looking like sleep training is working after just a week! Even though she's just about strong enough now to rip the swaddle right off of herself.

Everybody is different, advice on people is almost always just guidelines, not strict rules.

(She still usually loves the swing, we can't thank you enough!)

Rachel said...

Both boys used them in the beginning. They never loved it. I would use it to help them get to sleep. When Q found his thumb at 5 months he gave it up. W never really liked it and now that he can get to sleep on his own he never uses it.
Do what makes life easier and manageable. And she really is cute with that thing in her mouth.

Anna said...

I think that happy moms make happy babies so I think that you need to do what is best for you right now which in turn will be best for Mira. She won't need a pacifier or bottle forever and if it helps give you a little calmness now then it is worth it in the end.

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